What Do You Do When You Cannot Agree on Dad’s Care?
Your dad’s becoming forgetful. He’s forgotten he has something cooking. You’ve watched him make a cup of coffee in his Keurig and forget to put a cup under the machine before pressing the button. You’re understandably worried. You’re certain he needs home care services in order to age safely at home.
Your brother isn’t concerned. He’s never seen these circumstances and believes you’re blowing things out of proportion. At a family meeting, your brother reassures your dad he’s fine and doesn’t need help. Your dad takes his word for it and gets frustrated with you. What do you do now?
Get an Impartial “Judge”
You may need to bring in someone who is impartial to look at the situation and get a professional opinion. This can be a social worker who specializes in elder care or your dad’s doctor. Make sure you get this second opinion and be prepared to follow through with recommendations that are made.
Keep a List
Note times and days when you see a problematic behavior or action. Have your brother do the same. This may help solidify where the weaknesses are and help you to agree on what care is needed. Make sure you’re only listing actual problems and not things you think might have happened but aren’t certain.
Let Your Brother Take Over
This is the hardest thing to do, but it’s often the best course for your own sanity. Walk away from the care you’ve been providing. Before you do, explain to your dad that you love him and will still visit often, but you are leaving his daily care needs to your brother.
After a few months of handling day-to-day care needs, your brother may discover that he was wrong. He may start seeing things he wasn’t seeing when you were doing things for your dad. As long as you are keeping track of your dad’s safety, you’ll be okay backing off a bit. After a month, you and your brother can readdress opinions and see if anything has changed.
Talk to a Home Care Expert
Have a home care professional come in and talk to the family. A caregiver has the best insight into what areas of the home could use improvements to make your dad safer. Caregivers also have experience with the care needs of the elderly. Call a home care agency to get started.
If you or someone you know needs a caregiver in Daphne, AL, please contact the friendly caregivers at Hughes Home Care. We provide quality and affordable care for your elderly loved ones in our community. Call Us Today 251-517-9901. Serving Mobile & Baldwin County.
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