As a family caregiver, you’ve probably experienced more than once a situation in which you needed help and couldn’t get anyone to pitch in. But why does that happen? There are definitely times when family members could do more, but there might be some ways you’re blocking those offers, too. It’s a complicated dance.
You Act Like You’ve Got Everything Handled
Caregivers tend to put their shoulders into that task list and forge ahead. From your point of view, you’re running from the moment you wake up until you fall into bed again and it should be obvious that you need help. From the perspective of other people in your life, though, you might seem as if you’ve got everything well under control. This is an illusion, but from the outside, that’s what people are most likely to see. You may need to open up a little bit more and share with the people you care about what’s really going on in your life. Until you do, they won’t understand.
They Don’t Understand Your Situation
Whether your family members have prior caregiving experience or not, your situation is likely to be different from theirs. Every single person operates from what they know and from what they have experienced. That means that unless they can start to understand the experience as you’re living it, they’re still going to be in the dark. Something that can help is to ask them to take over smaller tasks or to invite them over to experience a few hours of your normal day. Don’t sugarcoat anything if you do this, or you’ll just perpetuate the myths you’re trying to bust.
You’re Telling Them You Don’t Need Help
You may be doing yourself fewer favors than you might realize. If people are offering you help, even if it’s not the help you want or expect, it matters how you respond to those offers. When you tell people you don’t need help or you keep declining the offers they make, that sticks with them. They start to see you as handling more than you successfully are and they’re going to stop offering any help at all. From your point of view, they’re just not helping. But from their perspective, they really did try.
In the end, what matters is that you do have the help you need. Senior care providers can offer you that help, especially when you’re making all the right moves in terms of asking for help from family members.
If you or someone you know needs Home Care in Fairhope, AL, please contact the friendly caregivers at Hughes Home Care. We provide quality and affordable care for your elderly loved ones in our community. Call Us Today 251-517-9901. Serving Mobile & Baldwin County.
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